


The Marks You Don't See

by RidleyCJames



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 06:25:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18685942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RidleyCJames/pseuds/RidleyCJames
Summary: Tag for Episode 3:8, The Heart of Darkness. Jace and Alec share an unbreakable bond, but when Alec is at his lowest, his connection to Magnus Bane becomes clearer than ever.





	The Marks You Don't See

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing in this amazing fandom. I have been a huge fan for a while now, but have kept my writing to Supernatural and other shows but there are a few episodes that I just need to see a little more of and couldn't stop myself from filling in the gaps. I love all the characters, but Alec and Magnus have stolen my heart.

“Sometimes it’s the marks you don’t see that leave the greatest impacts.” –Anonymous

Hushed mutterings broke the silence of the study and Magnus lifted his gaze from the ancient tome he was scanning. His gaze was instantly drawn to Alec, who had fallen asleep on one of the couches with his own book in his lap not long after Izzy had returned to the Institute. The warlock waited, studying his boyfriend for further signs of distress, before letting his gaze go back to the taxing work before him. He focused on the text once more, scanning every spell for something that might work in releasing Jace from Lillith’s torment. Only another sharp intake of breath from the man on the couch broke through his fierce concentration. Determination to right his part in Jace’s possession gave way to concern and had him foregoing his current task and making it to Alec’s side. 

He took a careful seat on the edge, his eyes travelling the expanse of the young shadowhunter, like a horizon he was intimately familiar with. His ancient gaze searched for anything out of place, or foreign to his favorite view. Magnus knew the topography of Alec’s face as well as he knew his own. Sometimes, he thought, he knew it better. Or perhaps he merely preferred it. It was the land he called home, after all. There was no place like home. Especially when home was so achingly beautiful.

Magnus let the back of his hand brush against Alec’s cheek, frowning as he noticed the cool, clamminess that greeted him. Lines of distress furrowed the younger man’s brow. Dark lashes fluttered against pale skin, but his boyfriend didn’t wake. In fact, he moved his head, his agitation seeming to grow even with the warlock’s presence which was usually enough to chase away the demons that found their way into the warrior’s mind when his defenses were down. 

“Alexander,” Magnus spoke the name like an enchantment, as sacred as any spell that had ever passed his lips. It held a magic of its own, a force that never failed to surprise the powerful warlock.

Alec turned his head slightly, pressing slightly into the warlock’s palm which now rested against his cheek. His boyfriend’s breathing hitched once more, and Magnus imagined his swift pulse and didn’t need physical contact to know that he’d find a pounding heart if he splayed fingers over Alec’s chest. Still, he couldn’t resist. Never one to deny himself much, the pull to touch Alec was too hard to resist, especially when his boyfriend was in pain. 

Magnus gently placed his hand over the soft, black material of Alec’s t-shirt, noticing it had slid up with his boyfriend’s distressed movement, baring a smooth landscape of cherished terrain. The flash of the parabatai rune on Alec’s left side, caused Magnus’s own pulse to flare, his heart giving a little lurch as he recalled the fact he’d let Lillith take Jace from them. First by giving her the potion she needed to sever the last of the shadowhunter’s humanity and then by not stopping her attack in his own home. Jace, who was a vital part of Alec. 

“No!” Alec bolted awake, sparing Magnus further review of his most recent failure to protect those he loved. 

“Alexander.” He spoke again, bringing his other hand up to grip the shadowhunter’s shoulders. “Hey, you’re okay. Everything’s alright.” 

“Magnus.” Alec was struggling to pull in a full breath, his hazel eyes frantic as they searched the darkened room no doubt looking for whatever monster that had been tormenting his sleep. 

“I’m here,” Magnus assured, wishing he could vanquish the invisible threat Alec was facing. “Take it easy.” 

One hand came up, long fingers wrapping around Magus’s wrist in a vice-like grip. “Jace?” 

“Is still with Lillith,” Magnus admitted, hating to be the messenger of bad news, even if Alec already knew the truth. Even more, he hated the look of torment his boyfriend shot him, the one that spoke of dashed hopes in which Lillith storming into Magnus’s to retrieve her pet demon along with Alec’s parabatai might have been the actual nightmare instead of whatever dream he’d just awoken from. Magnus touched his face. “I’m sorry, love.” 

Alec curled forward, a moan of physical pain escaping through his still labored breathing. Magnus noticed his free hand was tucked protectively against the rune on his side, the one that connected him so intricately to Jace. 

“Alexander?” New worry competed with the heavy weight of guilt at being caught off guard by the queen of hell, the fact she’d obliterated his wards so easily after tricking him into helping her with his own magic in the first place. He once again feared his hubris along with his concession to help Alec and Izzy enter their brother’s mind might have only made the situation worse. 

“She’s hurting him,” Alec choked. 

Magnus moved his hand to the back of Alec’s neck, anchoring him. When Alex let out another hiss of pain, his body actually jerking beneath Magnus’s touch, the warlock forced him to lie back on the couch. “Easy. Just stay still, Alexander.”

Dark fear slammed into Magnus even as he fought for his usual calm. Had the spell Magnus cast between the parabatai opened the link in a way that Alec would now feel what Lillith was putting Jace through, even though it wasn’t physically real, but manifested on a mental plane? The possibilities terrified Magnus and his immediate response was to call forth his magic, to mount a defense. 

Blue light sparked, filling the space between he and Alec and he waved his hands over the scene, opening his power like a conduit to rove the entire expanse of his boyfriend. He cast it forth as protection as well, a buffer to whatever was hurting Alec.

“Magnus.” Alec breathed, both hands now pressed against the rune on his side. Magnus sensed his vulnerability, something that had always surprised him about the shadowhunter who on the outside seemed the perfect Clave soldier-fierce, unyielding, unfeeling. Yet, Alec was so much more. “Please.” 

Magnus focused his energy, coaxing the healing aura even as he stoked the strength of the ward he’d cast over Alec. His own words of warning about Lillith getting her demonic hooks into his boyfriend’s soul echoed through his mind, taunting him along with Jace’s accusation that he coddled Alec. His capitulation and bent towards indulgence was undeniable where his boyfriend was concerned and perhaps this time he’d gone too far, hurting Alec in the process of trying to give him what he wanted. After all this hadn’t been a simple case of letting Madzie have a second cookie before proper dinner, he’d let Alec risk his life all in the hopes to please him. 

Yet, there were no signs of permanent damage. Even as Magus felt his depleted reserves of magic flare with his persistence, they revealed no internal injury, not even a fingerprint trace of Lillith’s dastardly presence. Alec was not feeling Jace’s pain, at least not an actual manifestation of it as he would have typically. This was something else entirely. 

Magnus released the energy, feeling it settle around him and Alec like a familiar cloak as the darkness enveloped them once more. He gripped Alec’s hand, squeezing the cool fingers wrapped in his as he moved closer. “Alexander, look at me.” 

When the familiar eyes locked with his, a shade brighter than their usual whiskey struck by sunlight, he forced a smile he in no way felt. “You need to breathe. Just focus on me. Can you feel my hand?” 

Alec nodded mutely. 

“Good.” Magnus pressed his lips to Alec’s cool fingers before releasing them with a hard swallow. He lifted a hand once more to Alec’s face, where he let his thumb slide across the shadowhunter’s cheek, erasing the trace of one lone tear. “Can you focus on the feel of my touch?” 

Alec gave another nod and it wasn’t long before he managed an easier breath, his eyes never leaving Magnus’s. The trust in his gaze once more had Magnus questioning his decisions of late. He wasn’t sure he deserved the unwavering faith. Magnus ran fingers through his boyfriend’s hair, traced them along the dark rune that ran the length of his neck. 

“How’s the pain now?” 

“Not so bad.” Alec’s voice was still rough with sleep. He licked his lips, but then his eyes widened. “Does that mean Jace is…” He tried to sit up before Magnus could stop him, tugging his t-shirt up to see that the parabatai mark was still in place. 

“Jace is alive, Alexander.” Magnus allowed him to sit up, but kept a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder when he sagged with relief upon seeing that the rune was indeed still intact.

“I don’t understand…” Alec rubbed at his eyes, making him look ridiculously young and Magnus sighed. 

“Nor do I completely, but I believe you are reacting to what you saw in your nightmare, your mind conjuring the feelings you would have experienced if Jace were actually being attacked.” 

“I imagined it?” 

“Not exactly.” Magnus reclaimed his hand, holding tightly, a little unsure which one of them he was trying to comfort. “More like a phantom limb experience.” When Alec’s brow furrowed in confusion, he explained, “Mundanes who lose limbs often still maintain sensations, even pain, in the lost body part as if it were still intact, as if they were still whole.”

“That’s cruel.” Alec muttered, his expressive eyes filled with the trademark empathy he typically worked entirely too hard to camouflage. 

“So goes the life of a mundane.” Magnus forced another small smile. 

“But it was so real,” Alec blinked, pushing himself up further on the couch. “Jace was…” 

“Hey,” Magnus, let go of Alec’s hand, framing his face instead. “We’re going to get him back. Remember my promise to do everything in my power to make it happen." 

Alec blinked, lingering anguish all too real in his gaze. Magnus yearned to vanquish it as easy as he rid them of other attackers. “I promised him I wouldn’t let her take him again, Magnus. You didn’t hear how he begged me…” 

“I’m sorry, Alexander.” Magnus rested his forehead against Alec’s, breathing in the scent of him, a mixture of his own sandalwood shampoo and the papaya soap the shadow hunter favored, reveling momentarily in his solid presence, understanding all too well what it was like to fail the person you loved most in the world, to be unable to save them. “If I could have…” 

“No,” Alec interrupted, sharply. The intensity of his tone was so similar to the one he’d used when Jace had claimed he would always be Alec’s first priority that it instantly brought Magnus’s gaze to his once more. “I don’t blame you. This isn’t your fault. Like I told you before, you can’t shoulder the blame. You’ve done nothing but try and help.” 

“I understand what Jace means to you.” Magnus knew enough about Nephilim to fill several books. But it was what he’d come to understand about the man before him that truly opened his eyes to the depth of bond Jace and Alec shared. “You can’t lose him.” 

The warlock supposed all parabatai were unique in their connection, but add in Alec’s complete dedication to those he loved, to those he called family and it only undoubtedly served to amp the effects. It was why the demon’s words about Jace only agreeing to become Alec’s parabatai were so incredibly efficient in achieving the owl’s goal to unnerve Alec. Magnus had registered the effect immediately by the look of pain his boyfriend hadn’t quite covered quickly enough. He’d had to hold himself back on hurting the demon for fear of injuring Jace. 

“But I can’t let him suffer,” Alec concluded, the solemnity in his words undeniable. 

Magnus was well aware that Jace wasn’t the only one being tortured by Lillith’s plan. It might have been selfish of him considering Alec was here and protected and physically unharmed, but he wanted to end Jace’s captivity as much to end Alec’s nightmare as to free the other shadowhunter from his current prison. 

“There’s nothing you can do about it at this moment.” Magnus picked up the book that was still in Alec’s lap and tossed it aside. “How about you try to get some more rest before Izzy returns from the institute.” 

“But…” 

“No buts.” Magnus tried for a dazzling smile, but knew that Alec could see through it. “I’ll continue my research into some ideas I have but I want you to rest. The spell I cast took more out of you than you realize. You’ll be no good to Jace if you’re out on your feet.” 

“I’d say it took even more from you.” Alec reached a hand up, his fingers brushing against Magnus’s neck. He looked sick. “Did Lillith hurt you? I didn’t even ask…” 

Magnus brought his own hand to his throat, a chill that had nothing to do with the queen of Hell passing through him as his fingers closed over Alec’s. He’d not thought about the marks that Lillith’s hold might have caused, too concerned in the moment for Alec and Izzy. 

“I’m fine, Alexander.” When Alec didn’t look convinced, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to the shadowhunter’s, the energy that always surged between them not dampened by the grim moment. He was coming to understand nothing could quench the feelings that flowed between them. It was like no power he’d ever known. “I promise.” He whispered, pulling back. It was a diversionary tactic of course, one he knew worked. 

Alec eyed him carefully, obviously not convinced, before bringing both hands to his face, kissing Magnus harder, with more desperation. It would have been easy for Magnus to lose himself in the wanting, the need to remind himself that Alec was here, was his obviously just as great as his boyfriend’s desire to find solace. 

He turned, momentarily giving what Alec sought. His hands automatically reached for his boyfriend’s t-shirt, every intention to be rid of it, to eliminate any barrier that stood between them, just as desperate to lose himself in the wilderness of the shadowhunter’s passion. He pulled it over Alec’s head, bracing his body on either side of Alec, hovering over him as he trailed kisses along the rune on Alec’s neck, the one on his chest. The old Magnus would have had no problem continuing, relishing in the fact Alec’s eyes were closed and his breathing had once more picked up, but with another emotion which had nothing to do with dark fear and everything to do with the brightness that they could create when together.

But Jace was there. Not physically. His words about Magnus’s coddling louder than the pounding rush of blood in the warlock’s veins. It took monumental restraint, but Magnus pulled away, his hands holding Alec back when the shadowhunter reached for him again. 

“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind for resting.” He smiled, tilting his head when Alec’s look turned almost pouting. “In fact, you and I both know this-he waved a hand between them-is the exact opposite of taking it easy.” 

“I need you,” Alec swore, huskily.

The words were almost Magnus’s undoing, control slipping. “What you need, Alexander, is sleep.” He glanced to the desk where he’d been working. “I need to continue my search for the answers to free Jace.” 

“Because you want to help me.” A look of something akin to guilt darkened the shadowhunter’s face. 

“Because I want him back as much as you do, and because I love you, Alexander.” Magnus grazed the back of his hand along his boyfriend’s face, grateful that warmth had returned to his skin. His heart ached when he caught the flash of doubt in the other man’s gaze, evidence of a wound and insecurity that went so deep that Magnus wasn’t sure his eternity of assurances would heal it. He would continue to try because Alec was worth it. Leaning in closer, he kissed the shadowhunter, softly, sweetly this time. “I would do anything for you.”

Alec nodded, and Magnus pulled back. He arched a brow, hoping to lighten the mood. “Even deprive myself of your amazing body, which you know is a great sacrifice for a hedonistic, pleasure driven sexual god such as myself. I’d keep you in my bed on a permanent basis if I could.”

“Speaking of beds…” Magnus rose, his gaze darting to the room they shared. “Maybe you should rest in there, so not to tempt me.” It would be more restful than the couch and he could still monitor Alec’s sleep…

“He was wrong about that you know,” Alec caught his hand before he could step away. The random segue had Magnus’s gaze going back to his boyfriend. 

“Who was wrong about what?” Magnus frowned. 

“Jace…or that thing-the owl,” Alec winced as if speaking of the two in the same sentence physically hurt. Magnus was tempted to kiss him again, just to take away the flash of pain. “When he said that I shared your bed, but that I would always choose Jace over you.” 

“Demons lie, Alexander.” Magnus’s heart lurched. He of all people understood the way words could be twisted and manipulated to hurt those they were aimed at. Asmodeus had been a master at wielding such tactics. The thing was, that Magnus also understood that a sliver of truth made a hurtful lie even sharper, the resulting sting much stronger for the knowledge the idea wasn’t pulled completely out of thin air. Alec loved Jace. They were brothers. More even. Magnus would have been fooling himself to believe otherwise and he had been made the fool enough lately. He touched Alec’s face. “There’s no choice to be made.” 

“Jace and I are bound together,” Alec continued, his eyes never leaving Magnus’s. “I carry the parabatai rune so I never forget, but the mark you’ve made on me is just as real, Magnus. Even if it’s not visible…I know it’s on my heart. It’s pull is every bit as real. Just as strong.” Alec made his way off the couch, coming to stand in front of Magnus. “Jace isn’t the only one I can’t lose. I’d be nothing without you.” 

“Alexander…” Magnus started, only to find whatever protests he was about mutter lost in the kiss his boyfriend started. The words had been what the warlock secretly longed to hear, but they paled in the honesty of Alec’s action.

“About your bed,” Alec was smiling against his lips now, his forehead lowered so it rested in the crook of Magnus’s neck, where his breath brushed over sensitive skin. “How about you join me there?” 

Magnus sighed, and Alec’s voice deepened, momentary humor once more shadowed by pain. “Please, Magnus. I just…I want to be with you.” 

Magnus’s resolve was defeated by the fact Alec rarely asked for anything. At least not for himself. Restraint was the shadowhunter’s natural state. His desires rarely voiced, let alone put before duty. The warlock gave in, returning the kiss with a longer one that left them both short of breath. When they broke apart Magnus lifted a brow. “Again, I will remind you that there will be little rest taking place if I do that.” 

“That’s okay.” It seemed Alec was not to be dissuaded from his course of action, which was completely in the shadowhunter’s character. He kissed Magnus again, hands wrapped in the front of the warlock’s shirt. “Rest is overrated.” 

“There is your stamina rune,” Magnus muttered. He nearly stumbled as Alec inched them around the couch, towards the bedroom in his most ungraceful, adorable shadowhunter way. 

“And coffee…” Alec added as they tumbled onto the bed. 

Magnus smiled despite himself, despite the situation that would still be waiting for them when they emerged from the momentary solace of home. “Yes, Alexander, lots and lots of coffee.” 

The end.  
A/N: I loved Magnus’s explanation that he’d had six cups of coffee when the next episode picks up. I couldn’t resist to reason why.


End file.
